Month: April 2014

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#59: Sleep rough AND #60: Spend the night in a haunted castle

Ok, technically we were just outside the haunted castle, but it definitely should have been close enough to be aware of any ghostly presence.

I am glad this is behind me – it wasn’t terrifying, but really just rather unpleasant! I woke up at 4am to find everything sopping wet and a slug snuggled up with me on the sleeping mat. No ghouls in evidence though.

But back to the beginning. Part of the challenge in achieving any of these things is how to fit it all in with normal life, without getting myself a) arrested or b) pegged as a total weirdo by my entire acquaintance. I may be failing on the latter but it is still quite important to avoid the former.

Rather than sleep rough in my own village, where I might be recognised; or among real homeless people, where I might offend by appearing to minimise their difficulties; I cunningly combined that challenge with the haunted venue. My husband was happy to take on the ghouls and the sleeping rough, but was pretty adamant that breaking into historic property would not be acceptable. I was quite keen for the company, and thus the limits were set.

As luck would have it, my mother in law lives near just the place, and so our escapade was incorporated into a family visit. We left the children with grandparents, and then, (after watching a DVD about all the ghostly sightings to date at the castle in question, to whip ourselves into a fearful frenzy), we set off at 10pm with sleeping bags, mats, bivvy bags and bin liners.

We drove as close as we could and parked. We were already dressed in night attire, and teeth brushed, just like any other vagrant. We hiked with the sack of sleeping apparatus down a long forested path, by a sliver of moonlight. We eventually reached the castle. All was enveloped in foggy gloom. We investigated the walls and towers for somewhere suitable to ‘camp’. All options seemed to involve lying on wet grass, and being rather visible if anyone chanced to come past. We plumped for a spot where we were at least partially hidden between a tall bush and the high castle walls. The allegedly most haunted tower was right in front of us. Ideal for spotting any ghostly doings.

We lay some bin bags down first, then the therma-rests, then stuffed the 4-season down sleeping bags inside the bivvy bags. Each wearing 2 pairs of trousers, 2 pairs of socks, thermal tops, down jackets, hats, scarves and gloves, we climbed in. God it was hot! It may not have been terribly authentic, for I suspect not many of the actual homeless are working up a sweat in early April at midnight. After all that preparation we had to remove most of the gear!

Here we are, looking more ghostly than any ghoul:
scary night pic
It was completely dark by now, clouds hid the moon and stars, and there was no sign of otherworldly goings on. So we curled up and slept. And that is really all I can report, until 3.45am when we both awoke, needing the loo, and unable to ignore the fact it was raining reasonably hard. Everything on the outside was soaked, yet in the middle of our cocoons we were toasty. We discussed whether it would be acceptable to get up and go home. Since nobody is making the rules here but me, I concluded that that was allowed!
So we packed up, removed the slugs, stuffed all the wet gear in a rucksack, and trudged back up the hill in the blackness.
slug
We were home and snuggled up in a warm comfy bed by 4.30, ready to enjoy the luxury of a Nannie-enabled lie in. I appreciate that is not a recourse that is open to most rough sleepers, and although the whole experiment has been somewhat flippant, I find myself sympathising with their plight in a whole new way. We can at least go home and dry everything off in a nice warm house. What do people do once they are wet, and then stuck outside all day the next day and the next night, and the next day after that?

I was rather disappointed not to have more scary happenings to report. I promise I did choose a place that purports to be extremely haunted. Alas it was a quiet night for the ghouls. Though in truth I had taken my glasses off and stuck my head half way down a sleeping bag, so it’s also possible that I just missed them!

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#58: Fast from dawn til dusk

I really thought I might crack on this one. I failed to get up for a pre-dawn breakfast, so actually I was fasting for almost 24 hours.

I popped this on the list, as I very rarely test my will power, and also because I am accustomed to grazing the entire day, now that most of my time is based at home. It is a bad habit, both for weight gain and productivity. I can rarely settle to any task without a cup of tea and a biscuit in hand. Bad news!

Doing without breakfast was fine. It is too busy dealing with the brood to get any pleasure from eating breakfast anyway. It was one less thing to think about and that was fine. But starting the day without a cup of tea is a disaster. I just never feel as if I have woken up!

By 7.30 am I relaxed my own rules to allow myself to drink water.

At 11.30 I relaxed them further to allow a cup of tea. It was the only way. I would have caved in otherwise. I was weak, grumpy and headachey. But with a mug of tea in hand, all was well again.

Missing lunch wasn’t really a problem. I had one more cup of tea.

The afternoon was challenging as I was trapped in a car with 3 children for 3 hours, while they munched their way through a ton of food. I almost ate their leftovers out of habit! But managed not to.

So, I just about got to sort-of dusk. By 7pm, I was tucking into 2 platefuls of dinner, and 3 puddings. I had arrived at the in laws’ house and needed to show my appreciation, you see. They certainly couldn’t have been left thinking they had cooked a bad meal! Though they may be reviewing their supplies for the weekend with some anxiety lest I maintain such levels of gluttony.

So I conclude that I can go without food for a day, but caffeine is another matter!

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#57: Become a charity trustee

Well this one panned out slightly differently from my intentions 3 months ago, but I am delighted with the result nonetheless. For as of Friday, I am not a charity trustee, but a school governor. Which I believe is the same kind of responsibility, but in a different setting. The election results are just in, and I am to be a parent governor of the primary school where my 3 children attend.

(And just in case any school parents are reading this: please don’t imagine that I only applied to tick off a challenge on the blog! Quite the reverse in fact – I put it on the list because it is something I really want to do, and have too long dithered over. I am much looking forward to learning more about the running of school, and being involved in this way.)

Hurrah!

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#56: Plant a tree

Mission accomplished today, in very pleasant fashion.

A friend in our village last week revealed that she had been following the legendary blog, and might be able to help me with a challenge. She was expecting a delivery of fruit trees, and when they arrived, would I care to come round and help plant them?
Well indeed I would, and this week they are here. (It was particularly happy timing as I had locked myself out of my own house and needed some other purpose to occupy the hours!). So round I went.

And it was a most productive assignment. We planted a fig tree in the greenhouse, a damson tree outside, and in the process I have learnt much about roots, soil types, stakes, online gardening suppliers, types of fruit tree and their preferences… and all from chatting to someone who I would never otherwise have thought to engage in a lengthy discourse about gardening! I came away quite enthused! As soon as I have a garden to call my own I might just attempt to grow some stuff in it!
damson tree

fig tree
I liked getting grubby, I liked doing something productive, and I especially liked learning useful things that I didn’t know. I can’t get enough of these random new experiences, and I love the way it is throwing me into contact with all sorts of people, who are so very nice and helpful.

Now since I’m on a roll, I’m off to ask at the garage if they’d let me drive a bus!

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#55: Learn some bike maintenance skills

A couple of weeks ago, Dave and I were cycling in the Forest of Dean when my chain broke. We weren’t carrying any of the right tools, and he had to suffer the indignity of standing by, while I flagged down a passing young man and allowed him to fix my bike for me. The very next day, Dave went out and bought a chain tool, and every possible form of quick link, lest such a thing should ever happen again.

That very weekend, he was biking with mates, and someone’s chain snapped. He was delighted to save the day with his armoury of quick links and the knowhow gained from our previous misfortune. Pride was restored. A godsend!

But then imagine, simply imagine, my delight, when today I was biking with a different male friend and his chain snapped, and I had the right kit in my bag for the job! Here I am, affixing the new link to the old chain, in insufferably smug fashion!
bike maintenance
The oddest thing is, I have never known a chain to break among any of my cycling acquaintance in the last 10 years! All the people I ever bike with are now signed up to a maintenance course in May!

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#54: Write a poem and publish it on the internet

I thought this would be an easy one! But I have been wrestling with it for weeks. Turns out it is not that easy a) to find inspiration, or b) to find an internet site that will publish it. Many of them have several months’ lead in time from submitting a work of brilliance to seeing it included on one of the many poetry forums.

In any case, I couldn’t think of anything to write. Nor find a genre that I am comfortable with.

‘I can’t think of anything to write a poem about’, I complained, plaintively last night. ‘Why don’t you do one about the pandas shagging at Edinburgh Zoo?’ suggested my other half. He can always be relied upon for a random idea. And in the absence of any other ideas, that is what I have done. And here it is:

Edinburgh’s first panda bear
is ready to mate, but beware:
Much hope is riding
on Mr Panda deciding
That he wishes to stick one up there.

She has but one chance in a year
A mistake will cost everyone dear.
The world and his dog
All gather agog
To see if he cares to come near.

A large scientific task force
Seek to influence nature’s course
With diets and tablets
And panda porn pamphlets
To part panda seed from its source

We have only the two panda bears
On loan from the east for 10 years
We must get them boffing
Or the zoo will be coughing
Up money, for nothing but tears.

Good heavens. I really must get a job soon.

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#53: Sing karaoke

This was a very unexpected evening. And another much dreaded challenge turned to surprising success! (Success defined here in terms of fun, rather than singing quality, as you’ll see!)

I had been intending to go far, far from home for this one, to hide in some grotty bar and embarrass myself in front of people who I would at least never have to face again. Regular followers will be well aware that my vocal chords have not been privy to the finest training.

But then, walking past our village pub, what should I see but an advert on the chalk board outside, for karaoke, this very weekend. And with heavy heart I realised what I must do…

The babysitter was booked, the husband’s support enlisted. Alas, the friends were all indisposed that night (apart from one late recruit who unexpectedly proved a great karaoke talent!)

As proceedings kicked off, the only act was a trio of 8 year olds. Having initiated the party, they were taken home to bed, and we thought we might just get away with singing our duet to an empty room and scurrying home. But it was not to be.

We put our names on the list. We stepped up to the mike. We listened to the lengthy intro and almost missed the start. Then we burst into a horrifying rendition of ‘Love lifts us up where we belong’ by Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes. Happily(?) it was all captured on film. I defy anyone to listen to it through to the end!

The room began to fill – more from curiosity than a desire to hear more. But at least we set the bar so low, that no one could fear stepping up! The event gathered pace as more people ventured near. We were a small but committed group! There was never any lull in volunteers.

The beer flowed. The songs kept coming. We made new friends. We became the very best of friends! We signed one another up for increasingly difficult songs. Unlikely duets were forged; group performances came together. Employees of the local garage were in fine voice. Some of the elders of the village were tempted to participate, and applauded most generously. ‘Ring of Fire’ by Jonny Cash brought everyone to their feet. The landlord himself got up and rapped, to the crowd’s delight.

Even after my challenge was more than met, I found myself part of a line up offering Bohemian Rhapsody; and later a squealingly poor rendition of ‘Whole New World’, (that romantic tune from Aladdin, for any aficionados of Disney films). It really didn’t suit my voice! (Though it is hard to think of any song that would.)

In the small hours of Sunday morning, the landlord played ‘Hit the road Jack’ and turned the lights up. The performers exited reluctantly, hugging and congratulating one another, quite overwhelmed with real ale and one another’s brilliance. It was just an enormously good laugh. One of those nights that puts a smile on your face whenever you think of it! Hooray for the karaoke!

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#52: Go biking in the dark

It is often hard to galvanise myself to go out biking even during the day.  Even though I know I will like it!  But somehow the temptation to sit on my arse always has a greater pull.  And that is doubly the case, when I am already in my pyjamas, it is 9.30pm, and cold and dark outside.

So I am particularly pleased a) that I gathered myself to do it, and b) that it was marvellous!   It was quite liberating to be out, alone, in the dark, cycling by torchlight along the paths round the lakes.  Visibility was reduced to where the torch was pointing, so it wasn’t exactly scenic, but kind of dramatic in a different way. The sounds were more noticeable.  The bird calls, and the sound of swans wings flapping as they entered the water in flight.   The moonlight sparkling across the lake surface was lovely.  The feel of the breeze and the night air perked me up no end.  It confirmed my suspicion that I spend far too much time indoors.  There is no need to think a day is over just because the sun has set.  I must do this more often!

The whole point, when this went on the list, was that I have been meaning to affix proper lights to my bike for about 3 years.  I have never quite got round to it, and hence can only cycle in the daytime.  And tediously, I still haven’t got round to it, but I’ve managed to tick it off the list by borrowing a powerful head torch and compromising on safety (don’t try this at home children..). 

But now I am even more motivated to sort the bike lights, because it was great! Excellent.